Reflections

I suppose the problem is that every time I sit down to try and write something, I have a hard time thinking up what to inform you about.  I'll begin as randomly as possible and just go with what's on my mind.  Food.  After being in Singapore for one week, and spending some time here in Bangkok, the amount of food on the streets being sold is truly a sight to behold.  In Singapore, a lot of the food and restaurants are organized in food courts and hawker centers.  The food is cheap, freshly made, and extremely delicious.  In Bangkok, the food is more commonly found in the form of small stands or tables along the side of the road. The street food is nearly everywhere.  I can't get over it.  Women, grinding up ingredients in a bowl, meat on sticks roasting over some coals, and sometimes there's even little aquariums filled with shrimp like creatures.  All of these stands are packed and unpacked everyday by the people who run them.  It's not uncommon to see motorbikes or scooters that have a side car of sorts that is actually a food stand.  It's truly amazing.  Ordering food at these stands can sometimes be a little tricky, especially since the majority don't have menus.  Luckily, Thai people are extremely friendly and patient, and a warm, friendly smile goes a long ways here.  Walk up, point to something, or simply say "please decide for me"  (and then hope they understand a little English), and wa-la!  You just got served!  It can be quite a gamble, but I haven't really had anything that I didn't like.  Haha, my most interesting meal so far was given to me by some locals at an outside bar.  We were chatting and having a good time and then they insisted I try some of their food.  A little spicy, and slightly unnerving at first, because there were live shrimp like creatures jumping around in the dish (one even managed to jump out of the bowl and onto my lap).  Haha, despite these two parts, I admit, it was a very delicious treat.

A couple days ago, I felt like I got a fairly local experience by riding the public boat on the canal through the city.  For 15 baht, or 50 cents, I was taken across the entire city.  The boat was jam-packed with people.  I have no idea how they managed to squeeze me on, but they did.  Had my stop not been the very last one when everyone was getting off, I believe it would be safe to say that I would have been screwed, especially if the boat docked on the opposite side of which I was standing.  The canal looked fairly filthy, the status of houses along the canal weren't all that impressive, but everywhere you looked, people were going about their business, hopping on and off the boat.  Everyday life.  It was refreshing to see and reminded me how differently people live.  The world is a vast and amazing place - everyday I see things firsthand that make me think more and more about my own lifestyle in new and different ways.  I've seen and done quite a few things, but for all my experience, I will never stop learning from others, nor will I ever stop being impressed by the sense of humanity and kindness in this world.  Travelling is a very humble and character building experience.

Some other reflections regarding travelling.  It can be very challenging.  No duh, right?  Not knowing your way around, not knowing the language, not knowing what to eat, or how to properly eat without offending anyone, finding a place to use the bathroom, etc. etc.  The list can go on and on.  But, there are other challenges in travelling on your own that I hadn't really thought about all that much until this trip.  The biggest one is identity and self-awareness.  Ultimately, I define who I am and how I want to act.  However, the people that surround you also have a major influence on who you are and can make or break whether or not you feel like you can be "yourself."  At home, I know who am and I never really have to question it.  I'm surrounded by the people that I know, and the people that know me as well.  I can be "me" without having to worry about what they think or how they will react. I decided who I wanted to be, but having those around me that make me feel ok in my own skin is also a big part of it as well.  On the road, I'm no longer in my natural habitat.  Not only do you not know anyone, you aren't even familiar with your surroundings.  A lot of people say, when you go off to college for the first time, it is your opportunity to completely redefine yourself.  Travelling the way I am sometimes feels like that, but on steroids.  On this path, and unnatural habitat, I have to constantly ask myself, "is this something I really want to do?"  "Are these people I'm hanging out with, people I really enjoy?"  I'm constantly evaluating who I am and what it is I really want to be and do.  It's extremely exhilarating and tiring at the same time. Life is extremely dynamic and ever changing.  Personally, I'm a person always seeking to improve myself.  Ways to change, and ways to grow.  Being stagnant in this category is something I don't handle all that well.  However, the self-reflection road can be difficult at times because like most things in life, there must be a balance.  I am always seeking to grow and learn...always changing.  But within that change, there must be some sense of peace and harmony in being content with who you are.  For me, life is about finding this balance.  On the travelling road, I'm moved to evaluate things on a daily basis.  At home, this doesn't always come so easily, especially in the daily grind and routine.  

 So what does this all mean?  Haha, have I completely changed?  Am I a new person?  The funny thing is that I can feel myself changing, but I can't describe how.  Maybe things will be more translucent with time, but for now, I know I'm having the time of my life, and sometimes there's just no easy way to describe my interaction with the local Thai person who had the heart and openness to try and converse with me at the bar, even though they hardly knew English.  Nor can I really describe how a smile and body language speaks so much more sometimes than actual words.  How do such experiences change me?  I'm not quite sure, but I know they're having an affect.   My experiences flow together like the tributaries that make the mighty Amazon.  Distinguishing them at moments can be extremely difficult.  Haha, be assured though, I'm still the same Jeff you knew when I left - except I've gained a little weight and my hair has probably faded to brown a bit more. : (

Well this post got a little too sentimental.  Next posting I'll make sure and tell you about some crazy sign or experience I had.  I will leave you with this, it's nice to know that people care about what I'm up to and that they are thinking about me.  It helps me remind me of who I am.  Thank you for that.